


Gold and Silver

by msrheadcanon



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Season 3, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrheadcanon/pseuds/msrheadcanon
Summary: Summary: Scully does something spontaneous to honor her sister’s memory.(Timing-wise, this is set post-D.P.O. but the episode is not referenced.)
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 24
Kudos: 52
Collections: X-Files Dialogue Fanfic Exchange (2021)





	Gold and Silver

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Baroness_Blixen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/gifts).



> Thank you to the wonderful and talented [ceruleanmilieu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceruleanmilieu/works) for the beta!!

A few years ago, what seemed a lifetime now, Missy dragged her to a piercing shop. To commemorate the start of a new journey. New people to meet, old ones to leave in the past. Her sister went first, laying on the table with her loose button-up held beneath her breasts. Wide smile. Long wavy hair splayed out in a coppery halo, tinged even brighter from the shop’s red neon lights. Serenity in her eyes while the tattooed shaggy-haired owner leaned over her with the clamp and needle. Springing off to admire herself in the mirror when it was done.

“Your turn,” Missy said. Daring her but not pushing.

But, it had been one rebellion too many for Dana. After all, she hadn’t agreed, only said she would think about it. She backed out. Turned away from the look of resignation in her sister’s eyes. She wasn’t sure what was worse: letting Missy down or knowing she was so predictable. Placing the silver ring back on the shelf, she eyed the gold one that sparkled at her sister’s midsection. Missy’s disappointment was short-lived, smiling brightly and laughing as she linked her arm with Dana’s when they left the shop.

At the recollection, she was thrust back further, a memory within a memory. Back to middle school when she worshiped her sister in the haze of early adolescence. When she wanted nothing more than to be her, to escape her constant prison of worry and expectation. To be more than the ‘stick-in-the-mud’ that frowned when others broke the rules. When, despite their differences, they were a united front. Sharers and keepers of each other’s secrets. 

It was a rare mistake, something that never happened when Ahab was home. Bedsheets folded imperfectly, mattress lifted. The cigarettes were discovered there. Dana’s bed, but surely they did not belong to her. Missy winked and held her finger to her mouth. She’d take the blame, let her parents believe Dana was still the perfect daughter while Missy grew freer and wilder with each punishment. 

Once Dana reached college, she succumbed to her parents’ and her own expectations. She saw her sister in a new light. Reckless. No focus. Underachiever. Missy could have whatever she wanted, being equally smart and much wiser, if only she started following the rules. They drifted apart. Study and medicine and eventually, the X-Files and Mulder, consumed her life. Thoughts of her past, time with her family, reserved only for memories and holidays.

“And this is what you want?”

The bored shopkeeper’s voice pulled her out of her reverie. She was almost surprised to see the woman with short-cropped hair and long bubble-gum pink acrylic nails instead of the tattooed, shaggy-haired man who pierced Missy. The urge to find another place came and went. She knew if she didn’t take this moment and run with it, she would talk herself out of it. Practical Dana would take over, and right now she wanted to be as far away from that person as she could.

Dana handed the woman the gold ring she held before she could change her mind. 

The shopkeeper nodded and gestured to a curtained area at the back of the shop. While she gathered her tools, Dana pulled back the curtain and untucked her blouse. 

She stared in the mirror, framed with white instead of red. It felt like remembering a different person: the girl who shared a closeness with her sister she would never get back. Now, a woman with pale and powdered skin, instead of a scattering of endless freckles. Slender with fuller breasts. A sleek bob instead of wild curls. Not much taller though. The girl she was and woman she strived to be versus the woman she became. Miles apart.

The curtain rattled as it closed around her. Dana laid on the cot and lifted her shirt. The cool wipe of an alcohol pad. The clamp on her skin. The anticipation of sharp pain, a shared experience. Another shared secret.

The chime of the door to the studio and a familiar voice. “Scully?”

“I’ll just be a minute.” 

Shuffling, something crashing to the floor, a muffled curse. The shopkeep tensed her shoulders and let out an aggravated sigh, then leaned forward. Dana held in her breath and let it out slowly. 

Too quick, it was done. Not nearly painful enough, not to drown out her thoughts. Blood-covered floor. Her sister’s head wrapped like a mummy, still and quiet. Antiseptic instead of patchouli. The dread and hopelessness of never being able to take back a terrible decision.

Mulder was busy stacking boxes back on a shelf when she emerged from the alcove behind the curtain. He regarded her curiously, but she ignored him. She paid in cash, a large denomination and generous tip, fingering the few coins she held in her wallet as she placed it back in her purse. Brushed past Mulder without a word, into the noise and bustle of the mall. 

“So…”

She turned towards him, raising her eyebrow. Checked her watch; too much time left. They walked towards the exit anyway, back to the airport and back to her life. He was quiet, had been like this ever since Missy passed. Shrunken down, like he wanted to disappear, despite his gangly legs and tall frame overwhelming her view whenever she looked outwards. He waited and watched.

It had been her suggestion of an outing. Prompted by restlessness and a three-hour layover in Atlanta, she caught the sign advertising a nearby mall. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, but she spun around and headed for the exit before he could respond, her heels clicking on the concourse tile. He hounded behind her, too far away to rest his hand on her back.

They caught a cab, ate greasy Chinese in the food court. She wandered away while he was in a joke shop, chucking to himself at funny t-shirts and keyrings. Found herself at ‘Misty’s Piercings’. A sign? Maybe. She snatched at the thought, held it close, hoping that somewhere her sister was looking down on her. That it was Missy making the decisions, instead of herself.

Well, it was done. Whether it had been her or Missy who’d guided her path today.

The stifling humidity of an Atlantan summer tore the breath from her lungs as they stepped out of the air conditioning of the mall.

“What’d you get done?” Mulder bounced on his feet, his eyebrows raised to his hairline. 

“Navel piercing.”

His eyes widened and he smiled broadly at her. “Can I see?”

“Later.”

He waggled his eyebrows and she dipped her head, feeling warmth rise from her chest to color her cheeks. The butterflies she felt when he looked at her like that were short-lived nowadays. Darkness squeezed at her heart, every second thought of her sister. She remembered the last time she’d talked to her about Mulder.

‘Just do something, Danes, he’s crazy about you,’ she’d said. Dana doubted it then, doubted it now. But the way he looked at her sometimes, especially now. The warmth of his body next to hers, just a bit too close to be professional. 

She slid into the seat of the cab they hailed and squeezed as far to her side as she could. Mulder crawled in next to her, knees practically pressed to his chest. Her fingers itched to reach out and swipe the stray lock of hair that covered his forehead. To lean her head against his arm, solid and real. It would be so easy. 

She shook her head, gazing out the window as they drove past yet another strange cityscape. 

It didn’t matter. She had a duty, even stronger now. She needed answers, her mother needed answers. Missy deserved them. She needed Mulder focused on this quest instead of herself. If it was even possible that he’d notice her in that way.

Her hand drifted to her stomach, imagining she could link her arms with her sister again. Keep their connection alive. Live two lives, for the one that was lost.

One life, one chance. She would not waste it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this Anika. I was tempted to do fluff because I know you love it, but I could never write that as well as you. The conversations on discord about this topic got me thinking, so I had to run with it! ❤️❤️❤️


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